Flight of the Pummeled Parakeet Page 4

  Joe nodded. He’d seen it, too. And so had Pauline. She’d put it in her pocket when she thought no one was looking. But there was nothing Joe could do about it now. Mom had sent him and Matt to wait in the car.

  “I told you not to touch anything,” grumbled Matt.

  Joe nodded miserably.

  “Do you think your mom will still pay us?” asked Matt.

  “I doubt it,” he said. But getting paid for delivering Mom’s flyers was the least of his worries!

  “What are we going to do now?” wailed Petey.

  Joe shrugged. Even if he had a plan, which he didn’t, it wasn’t as if he could discuss it now—not in front of Matt.

  Petey tucked his head under his wing and began babbling, “Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake, baker’s man, bake me a cake as fast as you can!”

  “How could you?” said Mom, getting into the driver’s seat and slamming the car door behind her. “Not only did I have to do the cut for free, but I’m sure Maggie Pringle will tell all her neighbors what happened. I’ll never get work on this street again!”

  “Sorry, Mom.”

  “Sorry, Mom, sorry, Mom! Silly Joe!” Petey chirped.

  Joe wished Petey would put a sock in it!

  “You know you shouldn’t touch other people’s property!” said Mom.

  “Maybe you could buy her another vase,” suggested Matt. “There’s that sale at Beddows tomorrow—they’ve got tons of horrible vases.”

  Mom scowled. “Thanks, Matt, but I don’t think that will help.”

  Joe sat up straight. Actually, making sure he was at Beddows at the same time as Pauline Pringle might not be a bad thing. Perhaps there was still a chance he could stop her from claiming the raffle prize. He wasn’t sure how, but if he could come up with something . . .

  “Please, could I buy Ms. Pringle something else?” pleaded Joe. “I’ve still got some of my birthday money left. I’d like to get her something to make up for the vase.”

  Mom sighed. “It’s a nice idea, Joe, but—”

  Just then there was a knock on Mom’s car window. It was Sarah.

  “Gabriella’s mom says she’d like a haircut!” she said, smiling proudly. “In fact, her whole family wants one!”

  Joe made a face.

  “Well done, Sarah!” Mom beamed.

  “Guess I got more customers than you, Joe. I win!”

  Joe didn’t say anything. He was hoping Mom wouldn’t tell Sarah about the vase. If she did, he’d never hear the end of it.

  “What’s the plan?” asked Petey. He was perched on the mirror as Joe brushed his teeth.

  “I dunno.” Joe spat out a mouthful of toothpaste. He’d been trying to come up with a new plan all day, but he hadn’t gotten anywhere.

  “Dunno! Dunno!” repeated Petey. Then he caught sight of himself in the mirror and pecked his reflection. “Who’s a pretty boy? Beautiful Petey!”

  Joe put his toothbrush back in the holder. “Maybe I could just wait until Pauline’s about to get her prize, and then shout out something about it being the wrong sister.”

  Petey cocked his feathered head to one side. “Would that work?”

  “Doubt it! I’d probably get into even more trouble with Mom, too.”

  “Why can’t you just tell Maggie she’s the winner?”

  Joe wiped his mouth on the towel. “Because she’d want to know how I found out!” He sighed. “I can hardly tell her that her undead bird told me! If only someone else could tell her—like the manager of the department store.” He froze. “Maybe he could!”

  “What?” Petey blinked at him. “How?”

  “Well, it wouldn’t actually be the manager. It would be me! I could pretend to be calling from the store to tell her she’s the winner!”

  Petey gave a shriek. “Great plan, Joe!”

  “There’s one problem. I don’t sound like a grown-up. My voice isn’t deep enough.” Joe frowned. “Unless I could change my voice somehow.”

  “How?”

  “I know! Follow me!” Joe raced out of the bathroom and down the hall to Toby’s room. He pushed the door open slowly . . .

  A light immediately went out and Toby dived back into bed, burrowing under the covers.

  “It’s all right, it’s me!” Joe said.

  Toby peeked out. “Oh, hi, Joe!”

  Joe flicked on the light. Lego bricks were scattered across the floor.

  “I wanted to finish building the rocket!” whispered Toby. “Don’t tell!”

  “I won’t,” said Joe. “If you let me borrow your voice changer.”

  “My what?”

  “That thing you got for Christmas.” Joe pulled open one of Toby’s drawers and began rummaging through it. “It was blue, and when you talked into it, it made your voice sound different.”

  “I remember!” squeaked Toby. He jumped out of bed and pulled open another drawer.

  Petey perched on the curtain rail while the boys searched through Toby’s stuff.

  “Wow!” Toby said, finding a light-up yo-yo at the back of a drawer. “Look, Joe!”

  “Great! But where’s the voice changer?” Joe pulled open another drawer.

  “HELLO, JOE!” said a robotic voice.

  He spun around. Toby was grinning at him, with the voice changer in his hand.

  “I found it!” Toby said proudly.

  “Let me see.” Joe examined the toy. There were four settings: low, high, alien, and robot. “Stand Back, Earthling!” Joe said, using the alien setting.

  Toby giggled.

  “Exterminate!” Joe zapped Toby with an imaginary ray gun.

  “Aaah!” Toby shrieked and dropped to the floor, jerking for a few seconds, then lying still.

  “What’s going on in here?” Dad stood in the doorway. He looked at Toby, then at the mess of Legos. “Have you been out of bed with your flashlight again, Toby?”

  “Sorry. It’s my fault,” said Joe. “I just came in to borrow something and woke him up.”

  Dad frowned. “Mmm, right!” He smiled. “Okay. Back to bed, both of you!”

  Joe raced to his room before Dad could ask any more questions.

  “Tell me the plan again,” Petey twittered.

  It was Sunday morning and Joe was in the hall, tying his sneakers. Petey was perched on his shoulder.

  “We’re going to sneak over to Maggie’s house,” Joe replied.

  “Uh-huh!” said Petey.

  “Then we’ll hide and keep watch until Pauline goes out shopping . . .”

  “Uh-huh!” Petey gave another enormous nod—and nearly fell off Joe’s shoulder.

  “Then I'll call Maggie—you gave me the number, remember . . .”

  “Petey Pringle, 29 Argyll Avenue, telephone number 555-6283.”

  “Yeah, that’s it!” said Joe.

  “Petey Pringle, 29 Argyll Avenue, telephone number 555-6283.”

  “Yeah, I got it, Petey!”

  “Petey Pringle, 29 Argyll A—”

  “Stop!” said Joe, and he clapped his hands.

  Petey gave himself a shake. “Sorry.”

  “Then I’ll use the voice changer to pretend to be the manager calling from the store. I’ll tell Maggie that she’s won the raffle prize and that she has to come and collect it!”

  “Great plan, Joe!”

  “Yeah.” Joe stood up. “It is. But first I have to get my hands on a cell phone.”

  Joe wasn’t allowed to have his own cell phone until he went to middle school, the same as Sarah.

  “Of course!” Joe said suddenly. “I’ll borrow Sarah’s!” He could hear the shower going. “Her phone will be in her room,” he said. “Come on!”

  He sneaked past the bathroom, down the hall, and into Sarah’s room.

 
; Joe held his nose. Sarah liked really stinky perfume. The room was cluttered with makeup and hair products, and the walls were covered in posters for vampire movies. Joe felt his heart pounding. He was never—NOT EVER!—allowed in Sarah’s room. If he got caught, she’d go ballistic.

  He spotted Sarah’s phone on her bedside table. As he reached for it, it beeped. Joe jumped. But it was just a text message.

  Petey was twittering nervously above Joe’s head, swinging back and forth on Sarah’s purple lampshade.

  Joe pocketed the phone and crept out of the room as quickly as he could. Then he grabbed the voice changer from his room and bounded down the stairs.

  “Back in a bit, Mom!” he yelled. “Just got to take something to Matt!”

  He slammed the door behind him, jumped on his bike, and set off with Petey still clinging to his shoulder, digging in his claws.

  As he skidded to a halt two doors away from Maggie’s house, Joe glanced at his watch. “Ten o’clock,” he said. “We’ve got two hours before the presentation in the store. Hopefully Pauline will head out early.”

  “Pauline loves shopping,” cheeped Petey. “Silly Pauline shops till she drops!”

  As he spoke, the Pringles’ front door opened and Pauline appeared.

  “Duck!” Joe yelled. Then he remembered that no one apart from him could actually see Petey. It was only Joe that needed to hide! He dropped down behind a parked car. “Did she see me?” he whispered.

  Petey fluttered up to take a look. “Nope! She went the other way.”

  “Good! We can call Maggie.” Joe took out Sarah’s cell phone and the voice changer. “Petey, tell me your phone number again.”

  “Petey Pringle, 29 Argyll Avenue, telephone number 555-6283.”

  Joe tapped in the numbers. There was a pause, then it started to ring. Joe turned on the speakerphone setting.

  “Hello?” Maggie said. “Who is it?”

  Joe took a deep breath, then put the voice changer to his lips. “HELLO?” he said. Except he’d pressed the wrong button, and instead of low, he’d set it to alien!

  “Who is this?” Maggie snapped. “What’s going on?”

  Joe quickly changed the setting on the voice changer, but his hands were shaking now.

  “Sorry about that,” he said through the voice changer. The low setting sounded better than the alien one, but it was still a bit strange.

  “Who is it?” demanded Maggie again.

  Joe cleared his throat. “Hello, I’m calling from Beddows department store.”

  “What?”

  “BEDDOWS DEPARTMENT STORE!” Joe boomed.

  “Oh yes?” said Maggie, sounding friendlier.

  “You’ve won our raffle!”

  “What?”

  “Congratulations!”

  “I’ve won?” Maggie sounded shocked.

  Joe swallowed again. “Yes . . . and you need to collect your prize from our store today at twelve noon.”

  There was a pause.

  Joe crossed his fingers. What if she didn’t believe him? What if she still thought it was a prank?

  “Your voice sounds a little bit odd,” said Maggie suspiciously.

  “The phone isn’t working very well!” Joe replied.

  “Oh,” said Maggie. There was another pause. “And I really won the prize?”

  “We sent you a letter,” said Joe.

  “What letter? I didn’t get a letter.”

  Joe thought he’d better hang up now. “Not to worry, see you at noon. Good-bye.” He quickly ended the call. Petey was fluttering around him nervously. “Do you think she believed me?”

  “I’ll go and see!”

  “But how can you get in?” called Joe. Then he remembered—Petey was an undead pet. He didn’t need an invitation! Joe watched him fly straight through the wall of the house.

  The phone beeped. It was another text message. He wondered how crazy his sister was going right now, looking for her lost phone.

  In a blink Petey was back. “Maggie is putting on her coat!”

  “Really?” Joe grinned at the parakeet. “She believed me, then?”

  Petey nodded. “And she went looking for her raffle ticket. I don’t think she could remember where she’d put it, then she spotted the gap where the vase that you broke used to be and suddenly she looked a bit annoyed. I heard her say ‘Pauline’ in an angry voice.”

  “Do you think she suspects Pauline of stealing it?”

  Petey shrugged.

  Just then, they heard the Pringles’ door opening again. Joe ducked behind the car. “What’s happening?” he hissed.

  Petey fluttered up to look. “Maggie is locking the front door. She’s going the same way Pauline went!”

  “We did it!” Joe whispered. He punched the air victoriously.

  “JOE EDMUNDS! What are you doing here?” said a horribly familiar voice.

  Joe gasped. It was Gabriella. She stood glowering at Joe, tossing her blond curls and twisting her mouth into a nasty sneer.

  “I . . .” Joe felt his face turn bright red. “I was just delivering the rest of the flyers for my mom, but I fell off my bike.”

  Gabriella’s eyes narrowed. “I thought Sarah already delivered the rest of the flyers.”

  Joe climbed back onto his bike without answering. “Got to go!” he said.

  “Tell Sarah I’ve been texting her,” yelled Gabriella.

  Joe pedaled away as fast as he could.

  “Where have you been, Joe?” Mom was waiting for him in the hall, tapping her watch. “We’re supposed to be going shopping this morning, remember?”

  “Well, I’m not going anywhere until I find my phone,” bellowed Sarah from the living room.

  Joe felt his cheeks burning. The phone was in his pocket. “Does she have to come?” he whispered to Mom.

  “Sarah needs new school shoes. I might as well get them at the sale.”

  “Where is it?” he heard Sarah shriek. She was thundering around the house like an angry elephant, turning everything upside down.

  “Mom!” yelled Toby. “Sarah just shoved me off the sofa!”

  “I’m checking down the side of the cushions!” she shouted. “Joe? Where’s Joe? I bet he stole it!”

  Joe tiptoed upstairs.

  “You can’t just accuse your brother,” he heard Mom say. “You need to take more care of your possessions, Sarah!”

  Joe ran the rest of the way, straight into the bathroom. He shut the door, then took out the phone and put it down next to Sarah’s toothbrush.

  “What are you doing?” asked Petey, who’d appeared through the wall.

  “Just watch,” he said. “SARAH!” he yelled.

  “WHAT?”

  “I just found your phone in the bathroom!”

  There was a pause. “But I didn’t leave it there!”

  They got to the department store just before twelve.

  “I’m going to look at the clothes,” said Sarah sulkily.

  “No, let’s go to the shoe department first,” said Mom.

  “Joe!” squawked Petey suddenly. “There’s Pauline!”

  She was on the escalator, heading upstairs.

  “Quick!” said Petey. “We need to follow her.”

  Joe glanced around. Maggie should be there by now, too. He looked at his watch—only a couple of minutes to go until the prize would be awarded.

  “Dad?” said Joe.

  “Mmm?”

  “Want some free cake?”

  Joe pointed to a large sign nearby:

  RAFFLE DRAWING!

  Free cake in Beddows Café

  Second floor at 12 noon.

  Toby’s eyes lit up.

  Joe headed for the escalator, and Petey flew off ahead
. Toby ran to follow.

  “Slow down, Joe!” called Dad. “No! Toby! Stay with me!”

  His little brother stopped and waited for Dad, but Joe pretended he hadn’t heard him. He scrambled up the moving steps, dodging past the other shoppers.

  “Careful!” called an old man.

  “Sorry, sorry!” called Joe as he passed the other people.

  “Over there!” squawked Petey.

  Joe jumped off the top step of the escalator and dashed over to the café, where a man in a sharp suit was standing next to a photographer. A crowd of customers was waiting in front of them. Joe could see Pauline in the middle. But there was no sign of Maggie.

  “Thank you so much for coming to Beddows today,” the man in the suit said, “and for helping us to celebrate fifty years of business. As a special thank-you to all our loyal customers, we’ll be serving cake in a moment. But first we’d like to present our grand raffle prize—a five-hundred-dollar gift certificate to use in the store.”

  There was a round of applause. Joe could see Pauline straightening her coat, getting ready to go up and claim the prize.

  “Where’s Maggie?” shrieked Petey. He was fluttering around the group. “I can’t see Maggie!”

  “And the winner of the grand prize drawing is . . . Ms. Maggie Pringle!”

  “That’s me!” said Pauline, waving Maggie’s raffle ticket in the air. “I’m Maggie Pringle!”

  “No, you’re not!” shrieked Petey helplessly. He fluttered toward Pauline as though he was about to peck her nose!

  But just then another voice repeated what Petey had said.

  “NO, YOU’RE NOT!” Joe spun around to see who was speaking. “I’m Maggie Pringle!”

  The real Maggie Pringle was standing at the top of the escalator. Her hair was messed up, and her cheeks were red. She looked like she’d been running.

  A look of pure horror passed over Pauline’s face. Her mouth dropped open. “I . . . I . . . ,” she muttered.

  The customers looked from Pauline to Maggie, then back again.

  The store manager looked at the photographer, then at Maggie and Pauline. “Who is Maggie Pringle?” he asked the two sisters.